| PiRATE PRiMiTiVE NEW Mac's Picks CALYPSO CARNIVALE COLLECTION Neckpiece #N247 “YELLOWEDBEARD” Once a grizzled pirate sailed the azure Caribbean. His greying hair made him feel that the other pirates and the town girls thought he was "out of the game," made him feel "Rejected!" One night, sitting in a nondescript tavern, as he stared into his ale at the reflection of his graying moustache, two burly ex-seamen, sporting raven-black locks, came up to him and, after swearing him to absolute secrecy, produced a bottle labeled "Just for Grizzled Pirates." Our hero read it in puzzlement. "What?! Only ten minutes and I'll look young like you two?" he whispered. They assured him that all the grey would be gone and he'd be a bone fide hottie, a term our hero had only heard--never experienced. So, after paying a kings ransom for the bottle labeled "Golden Blond," he rubbed it all over his head and beard and waited the required ten minutes. The results were startling! His rich grey hair was now blotched over with patches of canary yellow. From that day on, everyone snortled at him behind his back and hailed him "Yellowedbeard!" Ayyyyyyyyyyyy! Cruel fortune! Then, one sunny day at sea, an enchanted pirate fairy flew on board and, struck by the pirate's broken heart, vowed to take the yellow from his hirsute head, and, as the bearded pirate slept, the fairy wove and braided and strung and cast magic until a wonderously bright yellow neckpiece was created. With a light touch to his shoulder the enchanted sprite woke Yellowedbeard and with a musical laugh said,"Behold, all the yellow in your hair has gone!" Then, with a tiny giggle, the nymph placed Neckpiece #N-247 about our hero's brawny neck. "What hair!" the pirate exploded, as his fingers felt about his now naked pate. "It is all here in this beautiful neckpiece," the nymph twitted merrily. "Wear it and it will lead you to your own true love. The pirate looked at the fairy. The magic went to work and... ...you ordered this enchanting piece from Pirate Primitive because you'll believe anything. Hurry now. It's number N247 and the fairy really did do a bang-up job. The glass beads glow with a crystline gold and orange sparkle and the wood beads are hand-dyed a sunlight orangish yellow (although not quite as brightly as the photograph). Cheerful "pony" beads accent as well as form the drops that hang from the monkey's fist. Being 27" around with a 4" drop, it slides over the head so it may safely be worn until your true love takes it away in satin velvet and feathers. (Psychic photo of the possible future is above.) "Yellowedbeard" is on its way to you for only $33.00 and the postage is free through April. |
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